If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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