i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
