Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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