New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize