I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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