I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
