She's JV to your varsity
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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