she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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