You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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