Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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