pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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