Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
