Little spoons don't ask big questions
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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