Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
