I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
