i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
