It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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