I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
