I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
