The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
