i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
