Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
