whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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