let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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