found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
