just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
