The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
sex in a hospital.. check
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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