508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
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How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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