if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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