How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
