She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
