wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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