Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
