Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
