Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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