I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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