id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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