Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
