What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
