It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
As shirtless as possible
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dont lie about slip and slides
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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