Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
