eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I believe in your delicious
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
