About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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