I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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