I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
