We named our party play list daddy issues
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
