Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
