who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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