She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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