when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
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