You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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