.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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