ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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