We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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