please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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