He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
