so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
