Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
