Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
