What a fucking waste of an outfit
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
