We're facebook friends in real life
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
