i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
